Jendi Coursey

This blog post is a little outside my usual subject matter, but I wanted to share some thoughts to inspire you to go after what you really want. Lately, I’ve been running into smart, talented people who feel stuck in jobs they hate, and this makes me sad. I know it’s hard to change careers. We all invest time and develop expertise in a field, and we get used to the money that comes with our experience. Maybe you simply need a new job in the same industry, but maybe it’s more than that. Maybe it’s time to go after your dreams, no matter how scary or seemingly impractical.

Maybe it’s time to go after your dreams, no matter how scary or seemingly impractical.

Many of us grew up with family members encouraging us to do what they thought was best for us, and that was rarely to take big risks. I majored in International Relations at UC Davis, and every time I talked to my grandmother while I was there, she asked, “What are you going to DO with that major?” I didn’t know. All I knew is that the classes were fascinating and I loved learning about how history and economics and political science and language/culture influenced national and international leaders, and how that affected my daily life and the lives of everyone I cared about. I didn’t end up pursuing international law, as I expected to. Instead, I fell madly in love, and after some really interesting jobs in the San Francisco Bay Area, my husband and I moved to his hometown, a small, rural city of 16,000 people, where there wasn’t much demand for international legal experts.

I ended up following my heart and pursuing a career that allowed me to use my creativity and my passion for writing and communication. I’ve worked hard, but I recognize I’ve also benefited some lucky breaks. That’s how life is. I do believe, however, that luck favors the prepared.

For many, the idea of starting a new venture or exposing their true passion is terrifying. I understand that, but I also challenge the idea that fear should keep you rooted where you are. Rather than dismissing the possibility of making a change, ask yourself, “What small changes could eventually lead to making a big, amazing change?”

How much money do you really need? Who could help support you? What knowledge do you need that you don’t have? Start making a plan. Call it a daydream for now, if you must, but put it on paper. Allow yourself to dream. Imagine you’re doing this exercise for someone you love, someone you believe in, someone who deserves to be happy and to share their passion with the world. Ditch the negative self-talk for a second and DREAM. Talk to friends or loved ones who can dream with you and support you.

If you would like help imagining a different future than the one you’re headed toward now, I recommend calling Heather Paulsen of Heather Paulsen Consulting. In addition to project management, strategic planning and helping organizations become B corps (benefit corporations), she does an AMAZING visioning session that can be used by organizations or individuals. If you know someone who would benefit from this, give it to them as a gift certificate. Seriously, Heather is incredibly talented. And, no, I do not get any financial recompense for sharing her awesomeness with the world.

People make career changes all the time. The only way to guarantee you’ll stay in a miserable job is to accept it as your fate, to refuse to do anything to change it. I understand you might not be able to quit your day job tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take steps toward a new and brighter future. You get one life. Make it count.

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What if you could spend just ten minutes a day on an activity that was guaranteed to lift your mood, as well as improve the mood, productivity, and loyalty of those you work with? Probably worth it, right?

When I was the communications director at a hospital, the hospital had a contract with the Studer Group, an organization that helps healthcare organizations continually improve, clinically and financially. One of the Studer Group’s many directives required executives and directors to send thank you notes to workmates and employees—not once in a while to recognize exceptional behavior, but weekly or even daily to let people know how much we appreciated both the big things and the little things they did.

My boss provided grids so we could record how often we sent thank you notes and to whom. I felt like Big Brother was watching me and, honestly, I was a little resentful that I had to report my thank you note completion rate to the CEO. But, since I wanted to remain employed, I got with the program. I bought personalized thank you cards and started to look for people who needed thanking.

And that’s when the magic started.

I am naturally a positive and optimistic person. I tend to see the good in people and I can usually find a silver lining in the darkest of clouds, but I did not anticipate the effect of writing regular thank you notes. My outlook got even brighter and my relationships improved, too. Those thank you notes I sent to others were like little boosters for my positivity.

On days when my thank you grid was a little sparse, I began looking for someone to thank, so I’d pay attention to the smallest act of kindness or extra work. These were the times I noticed how dedicated and thoughtful so many of the hospital employees were. I never had trouble finding reasons to thank people. And when I sent them a thank you note, they were often so surprised that someone noticed or cared about those little acts, that they made a point of mentioning how grateful they were to receive my note. These notes created a neverending loop of good feelings.

How to Write a Heartfelt Thank You Note, Even if you Don’t Like to Get Mushy

I understand that for some, the idea of writing a thank you note is about as appealing as a colonoscopy. People don’t know where to begin or what to say.

So first, let’s focus on who deserves your appreciation and then we’ll figure out how you can show it to them.

Beginning with your workplace, are there any people who make your daily experience a little better? A secretary who greets you with a smile every time you walk in the door, a colleague who supports you when you’ve taken on too much, an employee who volunteers for extra projects, a boss who is patient when you have another “amazing” idea? To send a thank you note, we don’t have to find people who have solved world hunger or cleansed the Earth of all pollution (though, I’d send them a thank you note, too). We’re just looking for people who make your life a little better. If you’re responsible for managing employees, look for the traits you most want to encourage. Who are your most dependable, creative, considerate employees? Let’s reinforce the behaviors you most appreciate.

Those thank you notes I sent to others were like little boosters for my positivity.

Now, how do you express that appreciation?

As you may have gathered, not all thank you notes are created equal. To get the full benefits of writing thank you notes, you have to say more than, “Thanks for everything!” Because, really, that’s almost the same as writing, “Thanks for doing something that wasn’t memorable enough for me to remember or mention,” or its kissing cousin, “I know I should send a thank you but I don’t know what to say.”

A well-written thank you note should be timely, specific and heartfelt. And if you’re writing a thank you note based on information from someone else (a mutual friend, colleague or acquaintance), mention them in the note. It’s best if the thank you note is handwritten on a card and mailed, but if that stops you from writing or sending it, use your keyboard and send it via email.

The anatomy of a thank you is as follows:

1. Start with the expression of gratitude. “Thank you for…” “I really appreciated it when…” “I am so grateful for…”
2. Name the action or gift you appreciate and if appropriate, why that action is important. “Thank you for filling in on late notice.” “I really appreciated it when you took the time to review our annual report before we sent it to the printer. I can’t believe we misspelled our company name!” “I am so grateful for your can-do approach. This is how we push ourselves to reach new heights.”
3. Include a closing statement restating your appreciation.

Here are some examples:

Dear Pat, 
Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your dedication and thoughtfulness. Julie told me about how you helped her finish her project, even though it meant staying late Monday night. Your actions just reinforce the high opinion I already had of you. Thanks, again.

Dear Javier,
Thanks for volunteering at the health fair this weekend. I know there are a lot of other ways you could have spent your time. I thought you should know your willingness to step up time and again doesn’t go unnoticed. Keep up the good work. I appreciate all you do for our organization.

You get the idea. These don’t need to be lengthy or mushy, but they should be specific and impart genuine emotion. Also, it’s important to send them in a timely manner.

If you want help with this or any other communication tools, let me know! And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

Many of us are fascinated by stories of people who came back from terrible injuries to accomplish incredible physical feats or who lost more than 100 pounds and kept the weight off. How do they do that?!

During the month of October, I’ve focused on the theme of transformation, looking at how sustainable change takes hold. People are motivated by different things, but it seems clear that a big part of lasting change is simply making a firm commitment to take that first step, however small.

The magazine Psychology Today printed an article called The 10 Rules of Change, and the first rule was to break down complex behaviors into their component parts and tackle them one at a time.

When I think about the effort and discipline required to get into a new routine, it’s easy for me to come up with excuses if the new routine is a dramatic departure from what I’m currently doing, but if I choose small changes, those excuses are harder to justify.

When I think about the effort and discipline required to get into a new routine, it’s easy for me to come up with excuses if the new routine is a dramatic departure from what I’m currently doing, but if I choose small changes, those excuses are harder to justify.

Want to improve your diet? Rather than trying to go from a burger-and-fries connoisseur to a vegan purist overnight, consider adding a vegetable to each meal for a while. Then, maybe, you can learn to cook a vegetarian dish that is tasty enough to make you forget you’re missing the meat.

Want to find a little more peace and balance? Rather than signing up for a three-month yoga retreat, try meditating for five minutes a day. Seriously, five minutes can make a difference. Five minutes may become ten, which may become twenty, but start with five.

Breaking down your big goals into steps so small you KNOW you can accomplish them will help you make progress. Progress is intoxicating.

Breaking down your big goals into steps so small you KNOW you can accomplish them will help you make progress. Progress is intoxicating.

And remember, it’s okay if you don’t achieve every goal exactly as planned; even the small ones can get away from us sometimes. The key is to stay committed. Write your big goal somewhere visible (a Post-It note on your computer monitor?) as a reminder.

What are your big goals? What one action could you take today toward achieving those goals? If one of your goals is to improve communication in your organization, let me know! And if you’d like to receive a little communication inspiration straight to your inbox, subscribe here.

Many successful people continually strive to improve. They ask themselves (and others), “What can I do better? How can I get stronger? What’s the best way to out-perform my opponents? How can I achieve more?”

These are useful questions to be sure, but too often the answers focus on improving weaknesses rather than capitalizing on strengths. If you’re an extrovert, you’re going to have a hard time enjoying uninterrupted quiet time more than your introverted colleagues. If you’re a big-picture person, you probably won’t become the most detail-oriented person in your company. Or as one of my more creative friends suggested, “You don’t want to race a goat up a mountain if you’re a fish.”

“You don’t want to race a goat up a mountain if you’re a fish.”

Recent studies confirm what common sense has always suggested: we make more progress in less time when we utilize our strengths. I’m not suggesting you should stop trying to improve in areas where you struggle, but consider focusing the majority of your time on using your strengths to their best effects.

Once people hit their 30s, they often have a sense of what they’re good at, but if you’d like a more formal process, you can use assessments like the Gallup Strengths Finder or the Myers Briggs evaluation (a quick version of the Myers Briggs test can be found at 16personalities.com). My friend and colleague Marc Carson administers personality-based assessments using the Majors PTi exam.

Having gone through Marc’s process, I definitely have more insight into why certain functions are easy or hard for me, and I realize that some of the skills I’ve always taken for granted are not necessarily easy for everyone. The process also helped me understand how other personality types approach certain types of challenges. The more I learn, the more I can help my clients (especially when we’re dealing with crisis communication).

In the book Good to Great, author Jim Collins suggests that the primary reason some companies surpass others to become great is their decision to narrowly focus their resources on their field of key competence. I think the same is true for humans. I have a finite amount of time and energy.  I don’t want to divide my time so that I get a little better at everything. I’d rather use that same energy to get a LOT better at one or two key skills that take advantage of my natural talents.

At some organizations, leadership teams post their core strengths on their office doors so colleagues coming to meet with them can frame discussions in a way they will best understand. Some people want you to cut to the chase immediately, and provide background information as needed in response to their questions. Others like to understand the big picture first, so they can see where your information fits into the strategic direction of the company.

Knowing yourself and your audience will help you use your talents and communicate with others more effectively.

Knowing yourself and your audience will help you use your talents and communicate with others more effectively.

If you need help communicating with others, let me know. I’d love to use my strengths to bolster yours.

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How many times have you thought, “If only I had a few more hours in the day, I could get all this work done.”? I hear you. As I think about all the competing responsibilities vying for my time and attention, I have a hard time figuring out how to fit it all in.

So, what if we refused to fit it all in? What if we simply crossed a few things off the list?

I know this sounds radical, but stay with me for a moment. Imagine an alternative to your current stressed-out, guilt-ridden state of being. What if you made two lists–the things you must do to keep you and your family breathing, and the things you’ve committed to do (for one reason or another)?

You must eat. You must sleep. If you have children, you must make sure they’re cared for (you may be able to get help in this endeavor).  After that, you have choices. Granted, actions have consequences, and not fulfilling every promise on your to-do list means someone will be disappointed, but you do have choices.

I’m reading a book called The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte. It’s one of those books that helps refocus people on what’s most important. Her whole message is about connecting with your core desires and setting goals based on how you want to feel rather than what you think you should accomplish.

As an entrepreneur, I’m an ambitious, goal-oriented person, and I sometimes forget to come up for air long enough to remember why I started my business in the first place–to set an example for my sons (to demonstrate that we should all go after our dreams and do what we love), for the freedom to participate in life on my own terms (not having to ask for a boss’s permission to put my family first, to go on that field trip or attend that track meet), and for the chance at bigger financial rewards.

I love to work, but I don’t love to have too much to do. The idea of letting someone down or failing according to my own high standards makes my gut clench and my heart constrict. Since “time management” is a misnomer (we can’t actually manage time), we need to manage how we use each precious minute.

Here are some of the ways to get more hours in the day that work for me.

1. Remove distractions. In this plugged-in world, devices are constantly dinging, buzzing, and flashing at us. Turn them off.
2. Prioritize your to-dos. Be as realistic as you can. Figure out what you can realistically accomplish in the time you have available. If you promised to finish a report by the end of the day, but you know it will be total crap if you do, call your boss or your client and let them know you need more time to provide the quality you feel compelled to provide. Then give them a deadline you know you can meet. If they say, “I want whatever you can provide today.” Provide it. Most people would rather have quality. Repeat this process until your day is manageable.
3. Use the Pomodoro Technique. With pomodoros, you alternate short sprints with regular breaks. The sprints help you remain productive; the breaks bolster your motivation and keep you creative.
4. Take care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Get enough sleep. Invest in your relationships. Attend to your personal growth/spiritual needs. It always amazes me when people schedule oil changes every 5,000 miles and full check-ups for their cars every 30,000 miles because they recognize the importance of regular maintenance, but they don’t do the same for their bodies and souls. If you don’t take care of yourself, your productivity will suffer. I promise.

Some days you have to push through, work late and forego the healthy balance. But if this is your norm rather than the exception, something needs to change. Take some time to assess how much of your life feels good (however you define that) and how much feels out of sync, frustrating, stressful, or depressing. Small steps can lead to big change. You may not be able to quit your job or attain your ideal weight by next week, but you can start rolling that snowball down the hill today.

If part of what’s keeping you too busy is the work required to promote your business and you’d like help, let me know.